This particular night as I sat still in awe of the moving artistry all around me, my heart was mixed with emotions. Part of my heart was filled with wonder as I gazed upon God's beauty, and the other part of my heart was extremely heavy. I remember not being able to say much at all to the Lord except telling Him that even though I didn't understand my situation that I was going to trust Him. As I sat there breathing in the fresh air and listening to the sound of waves crashing against the rocks, I watched until the sun finally disappeared beneath the horizon. I took comfort in knowing that God was still God even in the midst of my mess and that He still had a plan for my life.
After awhile, it started getting dark and suddenly I noticed a bright light was shining on me from behind like someone had just turned a spotlight on me. I turned around not knowing where the light was coming from and was taken back by it's source. What had happened was that the clouds had parted and revealed one of the most brilliant, brightest full moons I have ever seen! As I sat there mesmerized at the sight I was beholding I was reminded that the light I was seeing was not from the moon at all. The moon is really nothing more than a big dark round rock in the sky with craters all over it. In itself, it is actually kind of boring and ugly. What gave the moon it's light was the sun - the very same sun that I had watched paint colors throughout the sky just about an hour or so before. The sun made something that would otherwise be useless become a beautiful beacon of light shining brightly for all to see.
As tears started streaming down my cheeks, I told God that I wanted Him to make me like that moon. I knew that I was useless without Him and that I couldn't produce any light on my own. I told Him what a mess I was, but that if He was willing I would give Him my ugly mess so that He could shine His light upon me and turn my life into something beautiful. I so wanted to be someone He could use to boldly show off His glory for all to see just like that moon that night.
When I got home, I immediately grabbed my Bible and opened up to the next chapter in Isaiah, as I was reading through this particular book at the time. I knew it was no coincidence when the very first words I read were, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and His glory appears over you." (Isaiah 60:1-2)
I love how the Amplified version states this passage: "Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you--rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and dense darkness [all] peoples, but the Lord shall arise upon you, and His glory shall be seen on you."
Wow! I just love how God speaks straight to our circumstances from His Word! We do live in a dark world, and it just seems to be getting darker with time. However, God has called each of His children to ARISE and to allow His beautiful light to shine brightly from each of us into this darkened world. People need to see that there is hope - they need to see that there is something more than what they are chasing after - they need JESUS! The thing is that none of us can be a light on our own - we are only going to shine as bright as we allow ourselves to get close to our Heavenly Father. The closer we get to Him, the brighter we will shine. It doesn't matter how ugly your situation may be or what kind of mess you find yourself in - as you draw nearer and nearer to your Heavenly Father, His light will shine brighter and brighter in your life.
Well - that's not the end of my story. You see, our enemy - the prince of darkness - does not want us shining the light of Christ. He loves the dark and will do everything he can to dim any light that may begin to shine from your life. He wants nothing more than to convince you that God could never use you. If he can get you to believe this lie, then he can keep you in the dark and keep you from having any impact in this world for Christ.
He tried to use this lie on me and was successful for awhile. He tried to convince me that God could never use someone like me and that I would never be like that moon. My life was just too messy. I had blown it way too many times. There were significant people in my life who had given up on me, why wouldn't God give up on me too? The enemy tormented me with these thoughts until I finally decided I was going to believe what God said about me instead of what the enemy was telling me.
Within a week of making this decision to believe God over how I felt, a sweet woman walked up to me at church and handed me a CD. (Keep in mind that I had only met her once before and had never shared my moon story with her). She proceeded to tell me that there was a song on that CD that made her think of me and she wanted to share it with me thinking that maybe it would be a good song for me to sing.
After church, I hopped in my car anxious to hear the song. I had never heard this song by Sara Groves before and I sat there and sobbed as these words came through my speakers:
"And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still You have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to You.
Shine on me with Your light
Without You I'm a cold dark stone
Shine on me I have no light of my own
You are the sun, You are the sun, You are the sun
And I am the moon"
May each time you look up in the sky and see a bright full moon that it will remind you to draw nearer and nearer to God so that He can shine brighter and brighter through your life!
Love you all,